Watch this space

This post is a sort of "placeholder", or I.O.U.. I need to try to describe the worst part of this condition, the part I never got to in previous posts, but which is the hardest to describe. I can't do this well right now. For now, I'll just say that a severe "hollowing" or "shallowing" of thought, emotion, and experience are involved, brought about or worsened by light, eye pressure, and some environmental factors, and pills I'm forced to take for other symptoms such as aspirin/caffeine powder.

I thought I'd come up with some very good adjectives for this. Calling it a hollowing or shallowing of emotional experience seemed like perfect wording, to me. It turns out, though, that those words mean absolutely nothing to people. It's as if I'd used no words at all. That basically kills any hope I'd had of communicating this, since apparently people cannot or will not grasp any words I can think of to describe the phenomenon.

I might need to find someone who can begin to understand, before I can try again to find other words. It's hard work fighting against the memory and concentration problems to communicate... and I guess I need to know someone's listening before I try again.